Another Poem...

Here's another poem I've come across that is meaningful to me...

I AM THE CHILD

~Author Unknown~

I am the child who cannot talk.
You often pity me, I see it in your eyes.
You wonder how much I am aware of -- I see that as well.
I am aware of much, whether you are happy or sad or fearful,
patient or impatient, full of love and desire,
or if you are just doing your duty by me.
I marvel at your frustration, knowing mine to be far greater,
for I cannot express myself or my needs as you do.

You cannot conceive my isolation, so complete it is at times.
I do not gift you with clever conversation, cute remarks to be laughed over and repeated.
I do not give you answers to your everyday questions,
responses over my well-being, sharing my needs,
or comments about the world about me.

I do not give you rewards as defined by the world's standards -- great strides in development that you can credit yourself;
I do not give you understanding as you know it.
What I give you is so much more valuable -- I give you instead opportunities. Opportunities to discover the depth of your character, not mine;
the depth of your love, your commitment, your patience, your abilities;
the opportunity to explore your spirit more deeply than you imagined possible.
I drive you further than you would ever go on your own, working harder,
seeking answers to your many questions with no answers.
I am the child who cannot talk.

I am the child who cannot walk.
The world seems to pass me by.
You see the longing in my eyes to get out of this chair, to run and play like other children.
There is much you take for granted.
I want the toys on the shelf, I need to go to the bathroom, oh I've dropped my fork again.
I am dependent on you in these ways.
My gift to you is to make you more aware of your great fortune,
your healthy back and legs, your ability to do for yourself.
Sometimes people appear not to notice me; I always notice them.
I feel not so much envy as desire, desire to stand upright,
to put one foot in front of the other, to be independent.
I give you awareness.
I am the child who cannot walk.

I am the child who is mentally impaired.
I don't learn easily, if you judge me by the world's measuring stick,
what I do know is infinite joy in simple things.
I am not burdened as you are with the strife's and conflicts of a more complicated life.
My gift to you is to grant you the freedom to enjoy things as a child,
to teach you how much your arms around me mean, to give you love.
I give you the gift of simplicity.
I am the child who is mentally impaired.

I am the disabled child.
I am your teacher. If you allow me,
I will teach you what is really important in life.
I will give you and teach you unconditional love.
I gift you with my innocent trust, my dependency upon you.
I teach you about how precious this life is and about not taking things for granted.
I teach you about forgetting your own needs and desires and dreams.
I teach you giving.
Most of all I teach you hope and faith.
I am the disabled child.

Pictures

Here are some recent pictures of Rebecca.

The past 3 weeks....

Well, it's been a few weeks since I've posted, so I thought it was time to finally get at it and post an update. I always check everyone else's blogs for updates yet I myself don't post as often. It's been a busy few weeks. It all started on June 1 when I went to M&M's with Rebecca and slipped outside on the parking lot, twisted my foot and fell. It started swelling up and got very painful to walk on, so I went for x-rays and sure enough, there was an avulsion fracture (at the base of the 5th metatarsal, to be specific) but it was minor enough to just require a tensor bandage, not a full cast. So I was hobbling around for the first week, by the second week could walk much better, and by now it feels almost normal except for when I move it the wrong way (or have Colleen step on it at church) ;-) The next day, Cavin's mom and dad came up here for 2 weeks from Calgary. So hurting my foot was good timing! They helped out with a lot of projects - reshingled our roof, worked some more on the garage, painted our living room window casings/frame, etc. It was a busy 2 weeks. They left on Friday. On Friday though, I had another mishap. I was feeling miserable as it was with a cold and a headache, when I went to put Sweetie down on the floor. As I was putting her down her feeding tube must have gotten stuck between my arm and my leg, and when I put her down her tube yanked right out of her belly! I felt HORRIBLE, she was crying, I was crying...I quickly called Peggy and she came to the rescue!! She got to our house faster than an ambulance and helped me put a temporary tube in place before I called the doctor's office. Her pediatrician was not in that day but there was a different ped on call who said I should bring Sweetie right in and he would see her. So off we went with Peggy to the hospital. Thanks, Peggy, for being there for us during our little crisis! Rebecca was supposed to have this PEG feeding tube in place till end of August, and then have it replaced down in Edmonton by the GI doctor who put it in last month. However, now that it accidentally came out, it was ok to go ahead and put in the Mic-Key button, which is much nicer to have than the long PEG tube. No long tube sticking out of Sweetie's belly that we have to worry about getting caught on something, or having to always tuck it into her pants. So in the end, it all worked out, but that was not how I had planned on getting out of having the long tube for another 2 months! That's all the news for now...