"As long as it's healthy"
I hear this comment a lot from people when they (or somebody close to them) are expecting a baby. When asked if they are having a boy or a girl, often times the response is: "Oh, it doesn't really matter, as long as it's healthy." I heard that comment again today, and just thought I'd write down some thoughts on that. Before having Rebecca, I think I may have said the same thing. On more than one occasion. I thought nothing of it, and did not expect to NOT have a healthy baby. That happens to other people, not us! "We don't really care what we're having, as long as it's healthy." NOW, whenever I hear that comment, I feel so different about it. I always think, well what if the baby is NOT healthy? Does that mean you would want it or love it any less?? I don't think so!!! I always think of our sweet Rebecca when I hear people saying that now. She is blind, has severe brain damage, can't walk, talk, sit or even roll over....but I LOVE her no matter what, healthy or not! Now believe me, I do NOT hold anything against anybody who ever said that statement. I know they don't mean anything bad by it, and of course we all hope for healthy babies! But, what if your baby is born with a disability? And the 'as long as it's healthy' part no longer applies?
Just my humble opinion, and something to think about.
3 comments:
thanks for this post.. i am sure i said the same thing when i was pregnant without really thinking about what i was saying.... so thanks!
Hmmm, I was going to say the same thing that Anne did - thank you. I don't always think about what my words can really mean. There is no way you could love a little one any less no matter what.
AMEN GIRL!
I just checked on here. Kind of forgot you had a blog since you added me to facebook:)
I agree totally. I have often wondered about that statement too and I have to say, I questioned it before I ever had kids. I had heard it said all my life and when I was in my late teens, I wondered about it. I thought what if the baby isn't healthy?? Then what?? Well, you carry on and love the child.
I guess really it hit home when my parents started fostering "special needs" children. They had foster kids since I was three, but later on they moved onto kids with various health issues. Many came from homes where the parents didn't want to deal with the disabilities or what have you. I don't want or mean to judge, my family just can't understand that. I went on to have my own children. My oldest has a lot of health issues (allergies, BAD eczema, they thought for a time he had CF, constitutional growth delay, was failure to thrive as an infant, has had a tummy surgery and a sinus surgery) but nothing life threatening or "serious" I guess you could say. I remember sometimes when he was tiny, wishing I had a child who could just eat and grow and wasn't always sick with bronchitis and wanting to know what a day was like without having to administer all the meds he was on and not having to do nebulizer treatments four times a day for years. Then I would remember how great I had it and stop feeling sorry for myself. I always knew it could be MUCH MUCH worse.
Every time I had a baby, I remember just being in awe of all the things that worked right and all the things that could have gone wrong, but didn't. I remember changing their diapers and being near tears and thanking God that I could change their diaper and that their little bodies worked so well and could get rid of waste. Something people tend to take for granted.
Then there was my brother. My precious little Davy. My parents brought him home from the hospital when he was eight days old. His biological family didn't want him because he wasn't "perfect". He had severe CP, would never walk or talk and they thought he was blind as well (turned out he wasn't) and they said he would not make it to his 1st birthday. That little man changed our lives and as sad as it is that his family didn't want him (his older brothers needed counseling because they wondered why their mother didn't come home from the hospital with their baby brother!!) we thanked God daily that WE got him. NO ONE (except you and any others blessed with these precious gifts) can understand what these angels do for US. Everyone was always praising my parents, how amazing and wonderful they were for caring for our Davy. They just did not get it that HE did wonders for US. It was a total pleasure to care for that sweet little man. I am so thankful that God did not take him home until he was 13 and a half. Sadly, by then we had forgotten what the docs had said about him not making it until his first birthday and we thought we would have had him in our lives a lot longer.
Ok, sorry. This just really struck a chord. Your girls are beautiful, as always!
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