Welcome to Holland
This is a poem that perfectly describes to me the whole experience of what it's like having a child with a disability. I love this poem and can totally relate to it, so I thought I'd share it with you.
Welcome to Holland
c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved.
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.
4 comments:
Mon, I love this poem also - it brings tears to my eyes when I read it. I have it hanging at my desk at work. And from what I've seen and experienced with children, Holland is just as beautiful and memorable.
Mon,
You guys have travelled this journey with grace and love and I am so very proud to know you and to witness how you guys are with Rebecca. When I see Calvin hold Rebecca I know that she knows him and responds and relaxes because she is with her daddy and it brings me such joy to see that. I can see how this poem speaks to you and I am glad you see the blessings of being on a different journey with your little girl.
Monny, that was beautiful. Thank you for sharing that. You and Calvin walk this road with Rebs with such grace. And you know we're all here for you.
Love you.
Mon,
That is a beautiful poem. I am proud to call you friend. You and Calvin and Becca have all blessed our lives and taught us so much. I look forward to the future with all of you.
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